WICHITA FALLS, TX BIRTH | BABY A

“So what do you think? What are your Mommy instincts telling you?”

“I think this is the real thing.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yea, I’m okay. I knew I probably wouldn't make it till Blake got home.”

“How are the boys?”

“They are good. M has been pretending that all of his toy balls are snake eggs that are hatching, so I think he senses something is going on.”

That was the exchange Margaret and I had on the phone at 8:30am on Wednesday, October 16. Husband/Daddy, Blake, serves in our military and was scheduled to be on leave and back in the US on Saturday. We were all hoping that their third baby would hold off until he could get home, but baby had dropped and Margaret knew he was not going to wait till Saturday.

I was honored to tell the Birth Story of their second baby in April of 2017, and I was itching to see Margaret do it all over again. Last time, she gave birth unmedicated in a hospital. This time she had chosen the Wichita Fall Birth and Wellness Center. It was only an hour’s drive away, but when it’s the third baby, sometimes an hour is all it takes.

Although she knew she was definitely in real labor, she opted to stay home a while longer and wait til the contractions got more intense. I double checked my overnight bag that I had packed, got my boy’s clothes laid out for school the next day, and waited. Just waited and waited. Things didn’t pick up until late afternoon. She decide to stop by her chiropractor while it was open, and then possibly head to the Birth Center.

Margaret lives in Lawton, OK, and I live in Duncan, OK. To get to the Wichita Falls Birth and Wellness Center, we would be taking different routes because of our starting points. I didn’t like that plan. I didn’t like the idea of not going same way. What if she had the baby on the side of the road? It was a real question I had. Historically, she had fast labors, and even faster deliveries. At 5:44pm. I left Duncan and drove to Lawton to meet them and follow them to the birth center. The camera was loaded with a fresh memory card and my go to birth lens was already attached. Just. In. Case.

We caravanned to Wichita Falls: Margaret, her sister Sarah (who was going to be her support person and was very anxious to fill that role since she missed the last birth by mere minutes), and her two little boys in one car, friend Sarah in another car, and me in the back trying to keep up. We got there around 8:20pm. To be honest, the Wichita Falls Birth and Wellness Center is slightly deceiving. I don’t think the average passerby would know that it was even a Birth Center. Margaret had described it to me, but even then, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. It’s a gorgeous, historical, two-story home built in the early 1990s with the perfect blend of a reserved but updated aesthitic. It felt like we had arrived at a spa for a Girl’s Weekend.

The Midwife met us outside and helped get everything in. She asked Margaret if she felt like she should call the other two midwives, and Margaret said yes. None of us thought we would be there too long. Two hours? Maybe five? We waited downstairs while some final room preparations were made, and it wasn’t too much longer before we were upstairs in a cozy bedroom. Shoes came off, and essentials oils were immediately loaded into the diffuser

The brothers had both fallen asleep on the way to the Birth Center, and while one woke up pretty happy, the other was having a little bit of the grumps - until the Midwife brought in a couple of birthing balls. It was hit for both the brothers and the Momma! …and sister Sarah… and friend Sarah …and the birth photographer. Let’s just say, the birthing balls did not go unused.

Time went by. The three midwives came in at one point to check vitals, but other than that, it was like a sleepover. We told funny stories, watched the boys play, and ate snacks. The Birth Center had a beautiful tub in the bathroom that Margaret was wanting to take advantage of, so she spent a little time in there. Her youngest was also very interested in the giant tub, and even came in to offer some support.

Although the tub was great, Margaret realized she was getting a little too relaxed. She got out and decided to start moving around a little more to see if the contractions would pick up.

Margaret is a very calm laboring Momma, and by the time midnight rolled around, we started to wonder if she was still having contractions. She assured us she was, but even she was a little surprised they hadn’t picked up much since we arrived four hours earlier. That’s when the midwives came in to check on her again and suggested that we calm the birth space down. While the sleepover vibe was really fun, it was’t allowing her to focus on what her body needed to do to progress through labor.

“This is your birth, you are in charge,” said one, (it was statement they repeated to her throughout the birth), “if you want to keep everyone in here, of course you can, but right now it might be best to make it quiet and dark so you can focus.” They offered to break her water, and she decided to leave it in tact.

The brothers went down stairs with friend Sarah, while sister Sarah and I stayed in the room. We turned down the lights and turned the music up a little. Within ten minutes, it was visibly obvious that the insentity had increased. Sister squeezed her hips through each wave while she leaned over the bend, and then over the birthing ball. Margaret got back in the tub in a squat position to help bring baby down. Hanging onto the faucet, she breathed and listened to her body. She could tell it was getting close. The midwives came in and Blake was FaceTimed. He had called a few times earlier during labor, but this time he would stay connected until his newest boy was born.

The Birth Plan was for her Blake to be physically by her side, and to deliver the baby in the tub, with the big brothers present. But births can be unpredictable.

Around 1:00am she yelled out, “I’m pushing!” and the midwives took that opportunity to calmly remind her that she was in control.

At 1:26am her waters ruptured on their own, and she kept pushing through each contractions. A midwife held the phone up so Blake could see. Sarah held Margaret’s hands and continued to squeeze her hips as the waves hit. With her other two boys, Margaret didn’t have to push very long. But this baby was not moving as quickly, and she was having to really exert herself. “I don’t want the boys in here,” she told Sarah in an exasperated breath during a break. She was tired, and she couldn’t find a good position to push in the tub. When the next contraction was over, she moved onto the big bed.

Because I was going to capture the birth of the baby, I was in a prime position to see external progress. Sarah was staying up by Margaret’s head to support her. As she was moving onto the bed, Sarah looked back at me, and with hopeful expectation quietly asked, “What does it look like?” I just shook my head a little, and she seemed to understand that at that point, there was nothing to see. She got a little emotional at my response, but turned her focus back to her sister.

The phone was propped up on a pillow, and later some books, as Blake watched his wife from thousands of miles away. Margaret was in a pushing position similar to what she did at the hospital with her other babies. “Why isn’t he coming out?” she cried out in a discouraged tone after pushing a few times. We encouraged her some more, and one of the midwives suggested that she try laying on her side to push. It wasn’t but a few contractions later that she was crowning, and with the next wave, she was pulling her baby up onto her chest.

And she cried tears of relief and joy, and we all joined her. Sarah quickly grabbed the phone to give Blake a better look at his baby boy.

It was 2:10am on Thursday, October 17.

Sarah was at the birth of the last baby, but in a still moment, they sent her out to get food. While she was gone labor progressed rapidly, Margaret starting pushing, and the nurses on staff had all come in to help - right as Sarah was standing at the entrance of the hospital birth center with the pizza she had just picked up. Someone went to let her in, she sat the food down and turned around to find out she had completely missed the moment of birth. She wasn’t going to let that happen this time! She was a wonderful support for Margaret and soaked up every minute of being there, and jumped right in to hold Baby A while the midwives were helping Momma get cleaned up.

Next came the first feeding, more snacks for Momma, and the placenta tour. The brothers came up stairs to meet the Baby, and friend Sarah got to weigh him. After some hugs and kisses, friend Sarah took the oldest brother home and the rest of us settled in for a nap. Sister Sarah climbed into bed with Margaret and I went downstairs to the couch. I had brought my own pillow and blanket for such an occasion. One of the midwives said she would come wake me up when they got ready to do the herbal bath and baby check up.

When we got there, Margaret made the comment that she wished it was day time, because there was a stain glass window right above the bed. We didn’t think we would be there when he sun came up, but sure enough we were, so I made sure to incorporate the window into a few of the shots.

Almost twelve hours later, Momma and baby were both checked out and it was time to go home. At the Wichita Falls Birth and Wellness Center, they let the families raise a girl flag or boy flag before they leave.

Baby A’s birth story doesn’t end there! When Blake got home on Saturday, I went to their house on the army base to get some pictures of Dad and his newly expanded family of five.

This is not the only Birth Story that can be told about Mommas who are strong and Daddies who are far away. Many of us will never know this kind of sacrifice. And of all these types of stories that could be told, I’m honored to be able to tell this one for a Mom with full arms and a full heart - for a client that into a turned friend.

May they live happily ever after!